Growl... I just want to say I hate ex-husbands (EH). Just had to get it off my chest. I guess, better than being on my chest. ~wink~ If that was the case, he wouldn't be my ex. LMAO Anyway, I think he's PMSing or something equivalent that a guy does! (Sorry to all my guy readers but I know NONE of you PMS!) Everything has come to a boil and is spiraling out of control.
I've had problems since the beginning of the school year with him making sure the princes have completed their homework. He'll bring them back on Sunday evening with homework not done, big projects not done and that are due on THAT Monday! Each night parents are to sign the assignment planner that the oldest prince has per his teacher's policy but for some reason, EH thinks he's above it and doesn't sign it which means he hasn't looked at it to know what oldest prince needed to have done for the next day. This has resulted in 3 late assignments - I know, that's not much but the pattern is starting. In September, he had my princes for an entire week and the middle prince had a diorama to put together. The assignment sheet came home on a Tuesday and it was due that following Monday. Friday I pick the princes up from after-school care and get a text from EH saying that he has the assignment sheet along with the shoe box for the project and it's due Monday. Well, that just threw a kink in the plans of going to Michigan to the lake cottage for the weekend. Instead, I had to stay here and search for a freakin' raccoon toys small enough to fit in this damn diorama and help the middle prince put it together. And I did it all with a smile on my face because that's what moms do! ~smiling~ When I asked EH about why nothing was done except for gathering the shoe box and printing off some information from the web, he replied because we were busy. Well, gee buddy... we're all busy and ya' need to step up to the plate and multi-task like the rest of us parents.
The busy excuse is his excuse EVERY time homework is not done or a test hasn't been studied for and it's that Monday. Gawd, I know he wants to be the Disney dad and all but it's about ridiculous.
The kicker came a few weeks ago when the princes came back from their usual weekend but this time they were way more violent with each other and all they could do is talk about killing stuff! Yikes! We're talking a 9, 8 and 5 year old here people! Come to find out they had been allowed by their "father" and I use that term loosely, to play 'Dangerous Hunt 2009' and 'Ghost Squad' on their Wii. This 'Dangerous Hunt' game is rather disturbing... it's rated for Teens and it's about a hunter that hunts exotic animals but ends up becoming the hunted. The animals viciously attack the hunter and it's rather graphic for little princes to handle! The 'Ghost Squad' is about a counter-terrorist military group that seeks out terrorists and kills them. Another very graphic game for little ones. So finding this all out, I did what any good parent would do and called EH to inquire. I got told that it's not a big deal, they weren't playing the games but then in the same breath, he said he watched them play it and the littlest prince was right there the whole time! He couldn't get what the problem was with the whole thing. Told me I was being a b*tch and to take him to court. Well, then okay ...
The next day I got a very scathing email from EH telling me I'm no mother of the year (never said I was!) and how he does EVERYTHING in the best interest of the princes. Hmmm... the jury's still out on that one. Sorry, I digress. So, I made a call to the attorney to find out what could be done because he was going to continue to allow the princes to play these games and told me that what is done at his house there is nothing I can do about it. I responded with a nice email back explaining what I expected when he had the princes and if he couldn't do that or allowed them to view these games, then I'd take the next appropriate step. Didn't get a response from this so I thought maybe, just maybe he realized what I was saying.
Boy, could I not have been more wrong! EH had the princes for the weekend and they came back with homework not done for the oldest which when I get them back at 5 p.m. and they go to bed by 7:30 AND I have to feed them in there too with bathes, etc. Doesn't leave much time for homework. But the oldest princes was up until almost 8:30 which meant he was a bear to get up the next morning. I also discovered that the littlest prince's hat and gloves were no where to be found so I called EH to inquire about the missing hat, gloves and homework. He didn't answer (remember - he's pissed at me and is pouting). I left a message but didn't get anything back until 8 a.m. the next morning about the hat & gloves ONLY. Fine... ignore me.
That Monday night, I get notice from the oldest prince's teacher that he had a late assignment the previous week. When I inquired about it, I found out it was from when EH had them (Oh, and I had gotten a note from EH on the previous night about he wasn't signing the assignment planner anymore because the teacher didn't require it. Hmm... that's kind of funny when it's in all her back-to-school information and she made a big deal about it the first month of school!). So, I sent EH an email since he wouldn't answer a call from me or return a text. Still nothing. So, by Wednesday I decided I would leave a nice voicemail stating that he needed to acknowledge my question about homework and talk to me about this. Boy, I wasn't really ready for what I got that afternoon.
I got an email late afternoon from him stating that he didn't have an answer for me. Knew nothing about the late assignment or homework that wasn't completed over the weekend. Informed me that he was going to change the after-school arrangements and would not be allowing them to go on his nights and oh, yeah... take him to court if I wanted to. Well, for one... he can't change anything - I think he's forgotten I'm the custodial parent. Lovely Indiana has this stupid warm fuzzy 'joint legal custody' that they make all parents have together for decision making things such as school, medical, religion, etc. But assign one parent as primary physical custodial parent. We share the legal crap but it really doesn't mean much when one comes right down to it. If anything had to be fought over (hopefully, it doesn't), the court usually favors the custodial parent - not always but most likely.
Anyway, I spent 2 hours with the attorney on Thursday going over EH's emails to me and my replies. The attorney said that after reading EH's emails, it appears EH doesn't want to have the princes during the week. But unfortunately for me, I needed to wait to file a motion in court. I needed to let EH hang himself a little longer. It's not that we don't have a solid case but my attorney said the court sees things that are much worse in nature than this and depending on the day, we might not get the ruling we'd be expecting. Although it would be very unlikely for us to lose if/when we went into to court. So, now it's sit and wait...
Things have not gotten any better... I called to talk to my middle prince over the weekend and EH would not call me back after I left a message requesting the prince to call me. I got a text 6 hours later stating the prince didn't want to talk to me. Oh, and I got told that EH would not reimburse me the after-school expense that I had to pay regardless of the princes' attendance from the nights he was not going to allow them to go. But he was going to check with the YMCA about the changing the days and fee structure. This morning I spent time at the YMCA and on the phone with them trying to get the director to understand I am custodial parent, I signed the contract, etc. I mean my f*cking god... they have a copy of the divorce decree and part of the marriage settlement that states I have primary physical custody of the princes. She wanted the whole f*cking entire settlement that gives specifics on support, division of assets, etc. Can I say go to hell? Don't think so! Then she wanted me to get a letter from my attorney and me to pay $250 freakin' dollars to have him draft a letter that would say the same flippin' thing as the papers she already has!! Dumb, just dumb... And, this girl also informed me that EH had called her to inquire about the changes but she told me that the director of the YMCA informed her that since I pay for it, signed the contract and am primary custodial parent, EH can't make any changes! Score one for the parent of the year (ok, at least in my world... *lol*)
Now, tomorrow I get to deal with the school and all the sh*t he's doing there. Meeting with the principal - who just happens to be a friend. So, shouldn't be too bad. Still having this meeting even though I actually spoke to EH tonight and point blank asked him what was up. He of course turned it onto me - typical! Once again, he couldn't see what I was talking about, said he wasn't changing the after-school arrangements (yeah, no sh*t mother-f*cker) and told me that I was doing things that wasn't in the best interest of the princes. Hmm... ahem*yeah*mr.Iletthekidsplay videogamesthatgivethemfreakin'nightmares*ahem. I nicely explained to him how he is in violation (directly) of the decree when he doesn't return my calls when I ask to speak to one of my kids and when he tries to change an arrangement that I made for after-school care. EH still didn't quite understand how all of these plus him not making sure the princes have their homework completed and turned in on time when they are with him could get him his weekday visitation revoked. Explained to him it wasn't anything personal (ok, maybe just a little) but I was just doing what I had to do to protect my princes.
I think, he got it for now but it'll go back to the same old sh*t in a few months and then I'll be in court before school's out getting full custody of the princes and he'll be going to the one evening a week and every other weekend sh*t but that's what his emails/actions, etc. are saying he wants. So if I have to, I'll be more than happy to give it to him and be the bad guy by taking his kids away from him as he so puts it. It's all about him - always has been and always will be unfortunately for the princes. EH will never grow up!
So, ahem... yeah... I've been just a little busy lately!