Is a 'healthy' divorce possible?

What a week! I'm just plain tired of dealing with an ex-husband who just doesn't get it. I had a two hour meeting with him and the parenting coordinator FINALLY to begin working on proper communication techniques so maybe, just maybe, I can have a productive post-divorce relationship with him. Hmm... at this point I don't think that will ever happen but you can be the judge of the matter.

During the meeting again - he did not take any responsibility for anything that has transpired. I was 'forced' into explaining each and every issue that I have with him while he was not required to do so by the coordinator. I'm thinking at this point that he's being favored. Then when I brought up the issue of him not giving me first right of refusal when it comes to him needing a babysitter for the kids and him saying he ALWAYS does this, I reminded him of the 3 times that he has never notified me that he would be having a sitter and did not give me the opportunity to decline spending more time with my kids. The biggest was when he went into the hospital on Easter morning at about 2 a.m. He had enough sense about him to call our son's godfather, gather all of their school belongs, coats, clothes they had worn to his house that needed to be returned to me, their shoes and place them all in an OCD line up by the front door so his friend would not have to hunt for anything. I was notified at 6 a.m. that morning when I received a phone call by his friend telling me to come get my kids so he could get home and explained that the ex was in the hospital but he had not heard from him. WTF??? I was not called and it's VERY black and white in the states outline and it doesn't say that if you're having a heart attack you don't have to call (oh, and he didn't have a heart attack just an irregular heartbeat probably from the uppers that he takes but unfortunately I can't prove that he does but I have heard from people that he pops 'something'.). But when I relayed this to him and the coordinator, he said that he didn't want to deal with the stress of calling me. *Ahem* excuse me but you are required by law idiot to do so regardless of the situation. If he would have called me I would have told him that was fine and to have his friend call me in the morning. (Does this sound unreasonable?) But to top it off, the coordinator looked at him and said she was understanding that he decided not to because he didn't want to stress himself out because he said he felt the need to protect himself. Again WTF??? Protect himself from what?

Then on Friday afternoon the youngest prince received 'student of the month' at school and was given the award at church. We both received an email from the school 3 weeks ago asking for his shirt size which I responded to. I went to the mass as well did the ex and the prince's step-dad. All the princes sat with me and their step-dad during the mass after we had asked if they wanted to sit with us, their dad or their class. They chose us. I did not see the ex come in or see where he was sitting in the full church because of the ENTIRE school being there for this. After the service, the princes were asked if they wanted to go see their dad and they said 'no' because he was going to pick them up at the parking lot after school. Well, okay then. I walked the youngest prince to his class and the older two went to their classrooms to get their things for dismissal. I walked out with all 3 princes to the parking lot because I needed to give cub scout shirts to the ex for today's raingutter regatta.

After giving the shirts to the ex, he asked if I would call him to discuss what happened today. What the hell? He went on to tell me that I robbed him of enjoying the mass with his sons! I about fell over. He received the SAME notification as I did. He was there. He made no attempt to have the princes sit with him. Blah, blah, blah...

This morning I get an email from the coordinator with an email forwarded from the ex regarding the church incident. He complained that I did not cc him on the shirt size email as he found out from the school that I had responded. He complained that I snatched the boys and how he was saving seats for all of us and how we sat where there was no room for him. Ok, pple... when we came in the church was FULL. Seriously, there were 2 spots with enough room for us to sit. We did not see him and IF he did see us, why did he not come over to us or motion to get my attention? Hmm... He continued to complain about the youngest prince coming back after the award to sit with me and how he could not enjoy the award with him. If he wanted the prince to sit with him, then why did HE not get up and come meet the prince when he was returning from receiving the award? The list goes on and on.

He also complained about being forbidden as he put it from his son's birthday party at MY house that I was paying for!!! The reason that he is not allowed in MY house is that he has over the last year started to become physically assaulting to me when we are in the same area and have any exchange that he does not like. He has shoved me into doors, thrown water bottles at me and slammed my truck door into my shoulder and leg as I was trying to get out of my truck. Hmm... PLUS, my attorney has told me that if I am paying for an event then I do not have to invite the ex to it and I was advised that I needed to stay away from him because of the potential risk.

He also complained in the email about me telling him and his girlfriend (and I use this term loosely) that they could not sit beside me at soccer games. I have endured 2 seasons of them plopping their asses down right beside me, talking about me like I am not there when he and I have discussed something because she ALWAYS has her two cents AND SERIOUSLY, WHY WOULD SHE WANT TO SIT BESIDE THE EX-WIFE? So, I nicely explained to him that the kids could run down to where he was sitting prior to picking up all their shit and moving it right behind my freakin' chair to where I had to step over them to get to it IF the princes wanted to either a) see them or b) sit with him. From what the oldest prince tells me that before I got back to my seat, the ex came over and started moving all of my shit to make room for him and his girlfriend. Okay, seriously... not cool. They got pissed, she made a comment to me about her not having a problem with sitting with me and they moved back to where they were at. But according to him, I yelled at him and it was embarrassing for them. Well, gee... according to the therapist and attorney, they do not get to sit with me UNLESS I am OK with it. Guess what asshole, I AM NOT OKAY WITH IT!!!

Oh yeah... and the last thing is that he is pissed that the school or daycare (that I pay for) calls me first and notifies me of things with the princes. He thinks that he should have the opportunity to be notified instead of me well, the ONE and ONLY time the school did that when one of the princes left school sick and he picked them up at 10 a.m., I wasn't notified by the ex until 6.5 hours later that my son had left school! So all day, I was thinking that my son was at school! This is why the school is told to call me no matter what and let me know PLUS I am the custodial parent according the divorce paper work. DUH!!

So, now... I get to meet this Tuesday with the ex and coordinator to begin a series of 4 meetings to try to help with the communication issues and discuss all of his concerns! What the fuck? What about my concerns? I guess those will get tabled for this first meeting and I will get to tell him off or I'll completely get my ass handed to me by the coordinator. But I have a feeling that it will be to court we go soon...

What a Day...

Now, don't anyone fall over or anything. The world is not ending because I am posting on a somewhat regular basis. It's that I'm just gettin' my groove back so to speak. I've missed posting and reading the blogs I like to follow AND I finally have free time in the evenings to write/read. ;-) The only thing that I won't be heading back to is my HNT photos quite yet - as Tug pointed out to me today that might make things better. Hmm... I miss those too. I'm hoping soon when all the legal garbage is done with the ex.

It doesn't look like it will be over anytime soon as I received an email from BOTH the ex and the parenting coordinator telling me in not so many words that for either of them to communicate with me that I needed to dismiss the pending legal filling. Hmm... let me think about it... NO!

Last night before the princes went to their father's, I took the youngest prince to the dr. because he was complaining about ear pain and after having his 4th set of ear tubes put in this summer, it was better to have the ears checked. The littlest prince was saying that he got water in his ear from his bath the night before. "Momma, YOU got water in my ear!" That's what I heard all the way to the dr.'s office. Hey, on the bright side, at least I know HE listens to what the ear dr. says - now if ONLY his father would listen about how to take care of the ear tubes we'd be all set! lol

Today was the first day back to work after being gone for 3 days with the middle prince. He's doing better and is on his way with his brothers to Ohio to a water park for the weekend with their father. I'm hoping that the trip goes well with no major issues with the oldest prince and his father. There is definitely a personality conflict there.

I spent the day reviewing with the kiddos and oh, yeah... cleaning up diarrhea. Yup, you read right... I had a kiddo right towards the end of the day after visiting the nurse several times have an "episode" in class. So, guess who got to help them get cleaned up? And this is why I teach little ones! What a welcome back!

Happy Freakin' Halloween

It wasn't the scariest of Halloween's or maybe it was? The middle prince wasn't able to go out and plunder the neighborhood with his brothers for all the sugary treasures because he has the freakin' killer virus going around!

It started for him on Thursday with fever and by Saturday he wasn't getting any better. The fever was actually rising to just over 102 and he said he was having 'lung pain' when he coughed. Off to the dr. we went on Saturday for Doogie Howser to tell us that he had a cold or the flu. Really? No, I wouldn't have thought it was that!

So, the prince got to stay home with me while his brothers went trick-or-treating with their 'father'. He picked them up at 5:30 so they could head to his neighborhood for the start of trick-or-treating. Not a biggie but he had his girlfriend with him at MY HOUSE... this woman is no gem. Seriously, I'm glad he found someone and she suits him to a tee but what gets me is that when she's around me she has to puff out her chest and strut her stuff like she's marking her territory. I hate to tell her that I've been there, done that and don't want it. She can have him!! Uugghh...

Everything was going okay until 8 p.m. hit and the princes were to be back to me. See, I had emailed the ex earlier in the day telling him that the middle prince went to the dr. and his fever was rising and he would not be going trick-or-treating. In this email, I asked him if he would bring the other two princes back to me at the agreed upon 8 p.m. time so I wouldn't have to load up the sick one and drag him 30 minutes across town to pick up the other two princes. He responded saying he would bring them back. So...

At 8:30 p.m. the princes were not back. I sent the ex a text asking if they were on their way because at this point, I started to worry that something may have happened. I got a response back saying that they were on their way but I was suppose to pick them up at 8! WTF??? Seriously???

They got here at 8:50 p.m. The princes came in and I stepped out on the porch to talk to asshole and had the email in hand. Showed it to him and he insisted that I was to pick them up according to the original email arrangement but when I pointed out that I had emailed him earlier in the day asking for him to bring them back and he responded he would, all he said was that he had not read the 8 p.m. time and I was trying to cheat him out of time with the princes! And that he was to have them until 8 p.m. Well, if he would have returned them at 8 p.m., wouldn't he still have had them until 8? I tried to reason with him but there was none of that going to happen. He was laughing at me when I told him that he had no regard for me or ANY agreement that we made between the two of us! He told me that I couldn't do anything about this and I reminded him that he was actually in contempt. He told me to do what I wanted because it wasn't going to matter because nothing would happen and for me to have fun in court. That's when I exploded and told him that he could explain to the judge why he's such a fucking retard and wanted me to load his sick child up with a 102 degree fever to drive across town to get the other two when he was quite capable of bringing them back to me!

Uugghh... I'm home tomorrow and will be calling the attorney to insist that contempt charges be filed on the asshole because the ONLY thing that will make the asshole be accountable is actually getting him in front of a judge and making him answer for his actions!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Wow, what a week! I'm posting a run-down and it's in bullets nonetheless...

• Monday head back to school after the relaxing weekend (okay, mini vacation) in Michigan.
• Tuesday a meeting after school which I open my mouth saying 'yes, I can do that' and I get handed a HUGE (I mean freakin' huge) project for the principal that has to be at the state department of education in one week!
• Got into a tiff with Yummy over my freakin' birthday gift. I HATE celebrating my birthday - used to love it but then being married to a douche bag for 8 years who didn't put any effort or thought into gifts or celebrating MY day, it does tend to put a damper on a person's attitude toward their own birthday. Yummy tries SO hard but I had asked him not to get me a gift mainly because he likes to do things on a grand scale and money just doesn't allow for it right now since we did take a little vacation the week before. PLUS, my birthday wasn't until Thursday.
• Got an email from the ex saying my middle prince had asked him if he was going to attend the party on Sunday. He wanted to know where his invite was! Decided to just ignore the email.
• Thursday was my 29th birthday (again). My students made the most darling picture frame from the pottery store with their fingerprints and a class picture. I even got a Macy's gift card from one student and her family - WooHoo!!! Shopping is always a great gift. :)
• The ex emailed me again on Thursday with a list - YES, a list of things for me to answer. At the top of the list was the damn birthday invite. I really wanted to tell him to quit being a fucking idiot and to give me a break on my birthday. But instead I answered it and told him that he was not invited to the party plus answering all his other requests.
• I get an email from the ex telling me my middle prince is ill an hour after I told him he was not invited to the party.
• Middle prince is VERY sick with fever, cough, sore throat, body aches... but his 'father' thinks he'll be better to go bowling the next day. Ahem, don't think so!!
• Spent my birthday without the princes, Yummy had to work so I treated my self to a pedicure/manicure and spent a couple of hours with my in-laws.
• Today was the Halloween party at school. The room parents threw a HUGE party for the kids... 2 pinatas, 2 games, treat bags, snack, crafts.
• Picked up the Princes from their 'father' and he couldn't tell me how high the Prince's temp was, symptoms, etc. Did get out of him that he had kept him drugged up all day and the poor kiddo was so out of it.
• Had to track down the oldest prince's winter coat because the ex lost it and didn't bother trying to track it down. So, this took another 20-30 minutes longer that I could have been home with the prince that's sick. Found the coat at the local YMCA where the princes go for after school care. At least we found it - I didn't want to have to buy another new one.
• Got home to find that the prince has had a temp (fever) of 101 the last 2 days and it doesn't drop much with the drugs. His throat is red, his cough is worse and he doesn't have any energy.
• It's looking like we'll have to postpone the birthday party for a few weeks so the prince can get better. We have this guy coming that has an ark of exotic animals that he has gotten from people who cannot take care of them - I swear it's going to be a Desperate Housewives episode as the baby alligator latches on to a kid's finger.
• It's also looking like we'll be off to the doctor in the morning for them to either tell me the prince has the seasonal flu, H1N1, strep throat or pneumonia.
• Oh, and telling the prince that he won't be able to go trick-or-treating was a big disappointment. Now, we'll see if his 'father' throws a fit and pouts because it's his year to take the princes trick-or-treating. The last time one of the prince's was sick on Halloween the *ahem-asshole-ahem* made me get the prince loaded up for him to take him AND took a sick kid trick-or-treating. Would it kill him to give up one night with the princes for the sake of their health? Yup, I hear father of the year calling...

I'm thinking that this week can't get worse but I'm wishing that it was next week already and I was working on the big project for work.

Getting In Touch with One's Self

Let me just start out by saying that this is NOT what all of you are thinking by the title. You see... as many of you know I have been trying since May to gain full custody of my princes from their loser 'father' (and I use that term loosely). It's been one hoop after another trying to get the papers filed, get a mediation date and a court date. I'm still waiting on the latter.



Before a court date can be filed, I must endure mediation which I did back in June which was a total waste of time! EH argued over who was going to pay what percentage of the mediator and the parenting coordinator that his side has requested. We NEVER discussed any of the issues that brought us to that point.



In the meantime, things have gotten worse since school has started. The boys are failing numerous assignments when they are with him, they are having numerous late assignments, he has flown off the handle at the oldest prince, grabbed a hold of him leaving swelling & bruising along with scaring the daylights out of the middle prince to the point where these two are scared to go. He refuses to discuss ANYTHING with me without his attorney present. He's slammed my car door into me and thrown a water bottle at me in his frustration after I told him that he could not open my truck door while I'm sitting in the truck. (This came after 2 aggressive emails from him.)



Fast forward to last week when I met with the parenting coordinator (PC). Her role from my understanding is to give me suggestions of how to better communicate with the ex in hopes of the problems going away. Well, after a 4.5 hour meeting, I walked out of there with the understanding that I need to find myself and get in touch with my inner voice. I was told to learn to heart-center and bring my 4 personalities to the center or my core. She told me to explore my Native American side and gave me a book on animal spirits. I kid you not! She also gave me a book on the 4 personalities - warrior, martyr, wanderer & orphan. Okay, what the fuck??? I went to get suggestions of how to communicate with an idiot so I don't lose my freakin' mind and I come out with books on animal spirits and told to find my animal totem and this will explain a lot!?! I left with papers to notify the ex about appointments for the princes and told to mail them certified if money was no object. WTF!!!

So, I'm off to read about animal spirits and find out what my flippin' dreams of snakes has to do with all the shit going on with my ex. lol

Just call me Pocahontas.

Seriously, What is Up with Blogger?

I have been trying for a week to upload the pictures from the wedding and with no luck! UUgghh... As soon as I can get it to work, I'll get them posted so you all can see the festivities in New Orleans.

In the meantime, I'm getting the house ready for the big summer picnic here complete with moonwalk, snow cone and cotton candy machines plus Yummy is the grill master that day with many tasty delights planned. ;-)

I've got the pie duty and will be making 10 pies this week along with brownies for the kiddos when I can fit it in between swim lessons, mediation with EH (wish me luck on this - we're hoping that he caves when we present all the proof that he's a liar) and family coming in from the East Coast, Atlanta, Baltimore and southern Indiana along with trying to get pictures around of the wedding ready for everyone to view.

Looking for a little sunshine...

It's been a crazy week... with all the rain and lack of sun, it's taken a toll on all of us! It's been a week of doctor appointments and making more follow up appointments. I tell ya if I never see the inside of a doctor's office again, it will be too soon! lol

The oldest prince had his first therapy appointment and the freakin' dr. came out of it after only seeing him for an hour that he is depressed and needs zoloft. WTF??? Zoloft, seriously? Isn't that like the shit that makes kids want to kill themselves? Oldest prince will not be going on zoloft any time soon! He'll be seeing the therapist in a few weeks and starting his therapy sessions so he can learn to deal with an idiot of a sperm donor. The kid is not depressed... just because a kid doesn't answer questions, sits and cries during a session does not mean he's depressed! At least the dr. did say that oldest prince's issues are caused from his idiot of a sperm donor. (We do not refer to him as a father because it takes SO much more to be a father than helping create new life!) Hopefully, therapy will help him deal with all the anger/frustration that he has with his idiot of a sperm donor.

EH finally got an attorney so the shit can start moving forward. That came late last week but we're setting mediation dates. I'm not too optimistic about resolving the issues during mediation. Remember, EH told me he's a vindictive person as he called me a whore a few weeks ago in front of the youngest prince so this means that he'll drag it out and fight me on every.fucking.thing. Now it's just a wait and see...

The youngest prince has an ear tube plugged and an infection in the same ear. This means another trip to the ENT and a possible 4th surgery for replacement of the tube! Uugghh...

But on the upside of things... 28 days and counting to New Orleans baby!!! We have 17 people coming to the wedding there! It's all paid for and the stress level is low. (That's a very good thing.) Yummy is making his spice mixtures up for wedding favors - Voodoo Love and Kamasutra Curry. We're planning the picnic back here for when we get back for all who couldn't make it to NOLA with us. My hair and makeup appointment is made for a very chic little salon right next door to the hotel. Everything is coming together! Woot!!

Hope everyone has a kick ass weekend with some sunshine in it! We're heading to the pool today for a little sun time. ;-)

School's Out for Summer

Yay!!! School's FINALLY out for the summer. What a relief to be out of that classroom and home. I think I might be able to get some relaxation in before next school year... oh, wait... that's right, I'm not among the unemployed. OFFICIALLY... started the job interviews yesterday for a 3 day a week gig teaching preschool, got turned down for an interview by email this morning bright and early at 6 freakin' thirty and received a call to come in for a 6th grade math/science position that is only for one year because the teacher took a year off.

I'm not going to worry until Aug. 15 when the last paycheck comes rollin' in but I'm sure by then, I'll have found something. If not, Yummy says I can be a kept woman for as long as I want as long as I do the laundry and clean the house. Okay, don't I do that already and what kind of deal is this? I swear, there better be something better out of this deal than that! lol Like maybe sex every.single.morning? That sounds like a good deal to me! ;)

I'm actually looking forward to having some down time for the first week of summer. The princes don't have any events to participate in other than an ortho appt. and going to the zoo to see the new lions, honey badger, hyenas at the newly renovated African exhibit on Friday. I went today and got 2 new books for me to read. I'm hoping to spend some me time reading this summer because I haven't had a chance to do that for a long time and lounge by the pool for the summer before the wedding.

Speaking of wedding... oh, that's right we weren't' but hey, it's my blog so we are now. :) Everything is planned and we have 39 days until the dress comes out of the garment bag, the hair is done and we party on Bourbon Street in NOLA! I absolutely can't wait... I'm excited, the princes are excited, Yummy's excited... It's just one huge ball of excitement around here. So much that the princes are asking if I can marry Yummy tomorrow! lol

Update on the EH situation... where to begin? Well, let's go back to 3 weeks ago when his 'girlfriend' showed up at the princes' soccer game and they put on a show for all to see with the public displays of affection. We're not talking small pecks on the cheek or hand holding. It was full blown tongue down throat action. Can we all say EEWW? EH doesn't get it - I've been there, done that and if I wanted it, I'd still have it. Let's move to 2 days later at the soccer practice when he threatened me by telling me "just wait until the boys are 18, then I'm going to let them know what a whore their mother is." Yup, that's right... and he said this 4 times right in front of my 5 year old prince! Just stellar... now that's a father of the year award coming his way, I can just feel it. lol

The next day, the papers FINALLY got filed in court. Wow, come to find out... my attorney kept forgetting to do it. Well, I guess me calling him that morning and telling him about me being called a whore plus my 9 yr. old now would rather be dead than spend any time with his father lit a fire under his butt. That's right, my 9 yr. prince would rather die than be with his dad. His father informed me that it's my fault he feels this way and that he's been saying it for some time now (like months!). Okay, isn't THIS something that should have been communicated to me right away? Just sayin'. The next this was that EH has decided that his relationship with the 9 yr. old prince is ruined and not worth his effort to work on... his words were "I'm done with him and not going to work on my relationship with him." Ahem... no wonder the kid feels the way he does!

So, I've spent the last week trying to find a therapist for the prince but I have to have one that will testify in court and not all do that plus I'm running into the problem of because currently I have joint legal custody with EH and we both have to agree on medical treatment, no one will see the prince without EH coming in to say it's okay. A*motherfuckers*hem... MY kid is threatening to kill himself!! So, a system that is suppose to save a kid isn't set up to do just that! How fucking messed up is this? I'm hoping that I have calls into 2 other therapists and one of them will help otherwise, I'm stuck until we go to court.

Which... fall over... my attorney is setting a date for the preliminary hearing and filing a motion to have the court order mediation with EH! YES!!! I think, with the prince wanting to die, we're now at a near emergency level is what the attorney said so we can start pushing but EH still hasn't gotten an attorney or acknowledged receipt of the first motion of me filing for a change in custody. Oh, well... just makes him look like an ass when we get to the judge!

So, yeah... I think so much for a relaxing summer vacation. ;)

Is it Friday YET?!?

It's only Monday and I feel like a truck has hit me. Literally... a big, huge, Mack truck... with the trucker girl mud flaps flapping in the wind as it rolls right over me.

I awoke to a blasting email from the good 'ole ex about the stupid baseball game he is suppose to take the princes to next weekend for cub scouts. There was a mix up with tickets and the oldest and youngest princes do not have tickets for the camp out. And some how... I was suppose to 'fix' it. WTF!?! He badgered me until I gave up MY weekend with the princes so he could take them to this freakin' game that initially none wanted to go and see. But this morning's email again told me that I was crazy and that he would do what the hell he wanted and leave the two that could not go to the camp out with whomever he wanted to and I had NO say in it what-so-ever. Ahem*mother-fucker*I*think*NOT... So, I guess he thought I would be okay with him leaving MY kids with his 'girlfriend' that I haven't met, seen, etc. and that the boys have been around maybe at the most 3 times! Yeah... and what drugs does he think I'm on that I would agree to that? Oh, and did I mention that he blamed the whole thing on my 9 year old son? Yup, you read it right... real mature here folks!

But it just kept getting better with emails from him today. So, I made a phone call to the attorney to make sure the papers got filed in court. Supposedly (and I use supposedly because they didn't get filed last week when the attorney told me they did) the papers were filed on Friday and the court would be send certified copies out today or tomorrow to EH. Now, it's a waiting game for the whole mediation thing but at least this will force the asshat to get an attorney and I can start getting things rolling for the boys' sake!

To top the day off... it's the last full week of 'work' at school for the students and they are done. Put a fork in them - done! I had to give a year end assessment test and 2 out of 3 classes I gave it to told me they didn't know how to do it, I never taught them things on it... you name it, they were throwing it out there. I lost it today because the 7th grade teacher actually heard me raise my voice (yell for me) to her class. I had explained to the little piss ants that they were not receiving a grade on this for a test but they still would be getting graded on it but I expected them to do their best. I actually had one kid tell me that they didn't have a problem like the one he was working on when I said to them that these were 'like' the standardized test that they just took for the state a month ago. He literally thought I meant that these were the same exact fucking problems he had a month ago! But, what got my blood boiling was his attitude and tone he used with me. Gah! No respect for authority what-so-ever! Seriously, what is wrong with today's teenagers?

I'm hoping that I make it through tomorrow with my 8th graders having the state's core test in algebra and make it to Friday when I take them to the amusement park for their graduation trip. Wish me luck!

A dog's bark is not always worse than it's bite...

Uugghh... I started a post but got interrupted by a dog fight between two of my girls. It seems that my Boxer of 2 years has now taken a dislike to the two new girls that I adopted in February. The vet says it's a dominance aggression issue and she has an appt. for the vet school to see the doggie "crazy" doctor but after today, I'm not so sure if it's worth the trip down to the school to see if they can figure it out. Lucy is fine with all of us and as long as I have the other two girls locked up in their crates, everything is hunky dorie... Last weekend she sent Maggie to the vet ER clinic for some deep puncture wounds. I've spent a week rotating them all out of crates and front room so each has time to spend with the family. Lucy hasn't done anything to Miley so today I decided I'd let them play together for a while but that last all of 2 seconds when Lucy decided to bite Miley in the butt. That's right...

I'm to the point now that I don't know if the vet school would be any help or not. Her appt. is 6 weeks out because they are that booked up. I guess that just shows all the dogs that have issues! lol I emailed the rescue group earlier this week to let them know what was going on with the two new girls and have not gotten a response back. I'd hate to have to get rid of any of them but it's coming to the point where I, wait WE are going to have to decide. I just hate the thought of having to send Miley and Maggie back to the rescue because they've made such progress here with us but I realize that I have to do something before any of them gets seriously hurt or one of the princes gets hurt from being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Besides dealing with the dogs, I'm on the hunt for a new teaching position and there's NOTHING out there! I'm just mildly worried but know that I was in a tizzy when I found my current position 3 weeks after school started so I know it'll all work out. I just have to be patient.

I'm also dealing with an ex-husband who as we all know is an asshole to say the least. He refuses to talk to me about anything when it comes to the boys. He's not giving them their prescriptions, he's continuing to 'buy' their affection... now it's he's getting a dog this summer just after no more than 3 months ago he sends me a scathing letter telling me that because I have dogs I am stealing his kids away from him and now I find out from means that I won't disclose... okay, I will... he has a facebook page and I periodically check it and last night I find that he's getting an inground swimming pool this summer but the boys don't know about it. Now, how am I to 'compete' with that? Granted we go to the pool every day because of having a membership but to have a pool in your very own backyard? Now that's any kids dream!

The kicker of it all is that I'm waiting patiently for my attorney to file the motion for me to request full custody of the princes and that's been a story in itself. Supposedly the ex has never gotten the letter requesting mediation as our state now requires and supposedly my attorney has sent it several times but I'm starting to wonder. I happened to have to go to the court house on Friday and get a copy of my decree from the file and the new motion that was to be filed by Thursday was still not filed! Fortunately, my attorney's office is right next door so I walked myself over and inquired. He didn't have an answer for me and promised me that it would be in there by the end of the day on Friday. So, we'll see when I call him on Monday to find out if it was filed.

I'm losing my job, can't find one in in this god-forsaken town so now it's imperative that I try to get more child support, request that I am allowed to move out of state if need be for me to find a job in my career and most importantly, get the boys away from the idiot they have for a father. As it's only going to get worse because he's now got a girlfriend. He went to his boys' soccer games last week and spent the entire time talking to her on his cell. I know it was her because he made several loud announcements while on the phone and made sure that I was able to hear him tell her he loves her. Isn't that sweet... this is the man that wouldn't date anyone longer than 3 months because of commitment issues and wouldn't tell me he loved me until right before we walked down that fucking dreaded aisle! So, I'm sure it's true love this time. Hey, I'm all for it if it gets him to leave me the hell alone! So, more power to 'em.

Uugghhh... can there be anything else that is given to me to handle at this point in my life?

I've Been Branded...

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Self Confessions of a Control Freak...

Wow, I'm getting to post again before a week has gone by. What is this world coming too? I have some 'extra' time as it may be - the Princes are with EH and their spring break starts tomorrow at noon. Mine is the following week so maybe - just maybe - I can catch up on all my back reading of the blogs I love so much. :) Wishful thinking between painting the house and getting it cleaned from top to bottom for a party the end of April.

Hey, great news today... I found out I have a condition according to EH. Yup, a bona fide condition. I guess I'm a control freak (at least that's what I took from his email today). You see, he is suppose to give me an itinerary, departure/return dates, specific places going, etc. with the Prince when he takes them out of state. He told 4 weeks ago that he was going to take them to Kentucky/Tennessee for spring break. Fine but when I asked exactly when they would be leaving/returning, he told me that he'd have to get back to me on that one. Well, break starts tomorrow and as of Monday I had not gotten word. My attorney (because we're in the middle of requesting mediation that the state says I have to request because of all the other 'stuff') told me to email EH and cite the specific place in the agreement that we both signed that says he has to provide this info or he can't take the Princes. I did this on Monday and requested that he give the info by yesterday. Yesterday came and went and no information in my inbox. This morning I get an email from him that starts on a personal note telling me that I need to go to counseling for my condition and how my condition is affecting our working relationship and my relationship with the Princes will suffer if I don't get a handle on it. And how I'm having problems with not being able to control the situation.

Okay, reality check... it's not about controlling the situation. I have a right (my god given legal right) to know where & when he is taking my Princes. It's about he can't seem to get it through his head that yes, he's their father but he is responsible to me to give me this information as I am to him (I gave him the same type of info last year when I took the kids to Disney) but rather than give me the information, he gave me his sister's contact info and basically told me that I'd have to contact her if I needed to get a hold of the kids. What kind of bullsh*t is this? So, I'm going with this, passing it along to my attorney who will then turn around and use it when we go to court. Just another instance of him not wanting to communicate with me. Maybe when he gets stuck with another attorney bill, he'll get a clue? Hmm... yeah, didn't work the last time so I don't think it will work this time. I think when God was passing out common sense, he missed out and got in the line with all the idiots. :)

And if you haven't noticed, I don't deal well with idiots.

Are You There? It's Me... Honey.

I haven't completely fallen off the face of the Earth... just slightly. :) I've just been insanely busy with work, taking care of Yummy after his Achilles tendon surgery, wedding planning, the Princes, new puppies... You name it, it's on my plate right now.

Yummy had surgery on Feb. 16th on his Achilles and spent 3 weeks at home with not being able to do ANY.FREAKIN'.THING. I swear what is it about men and when they're down? I'll admit he's not like when EH would get sick and you'd thought the world was coming to an end but it was still bad... he'd get up in the morning and make his way downstairs to sit on the couch all day and watch movies or play his PS 2. But, could the guy put a dirty glass in the dishwasher at least once? Come on... it's his foot that can't do anything, not his hands! Thank goddess that he went back to work before I blew a gasket because it was getting close. But, alas... things are better and he hopefully will be released completely from the surgeon in a few weeks.

At the same time of dealing with Yummy, the new puppies decided to eat our couch in the extra room. Yup, the entire arm of it. Luckily, most of it came right back out of them but poor Maggie had gotten a piece stuck in her stomach and spent the night at the ER vet's. They were going to do surgery but when they went to prep her, she got sick and the piece that was stuck was no longer stuck but she was borderline anemic which kept her overnight. Come to find out she was full of whip & hook worms so was put on a dewormer to take care of that problem. She's now gaining weight and things are looking up with her and her sister! (I'll try to get some pics posted this weekend of them.)

The wedding is planned! Yippee! Hooray! The hotel is booked in New Orleans, the reception planned at K Paul's, the minister at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel booked, carriages ordered, dress is in first alterations, cute little flip flops bought, rings ordered, invitations here... friends are starting to book their flights/hotel. I'm planning on spending the weekend addressing invites to get those out this next week. How exciting!

The Princes are all doing good especially after the melt-down that the oldest Prince had at his dad's a few weeks ago that I got blamed for because I got 2 more dogs. But EH made things right with the Princes... he went and bought them each a pet... a chameleon, tortoise, frog and newts! That's just what they needed... instead of a dad who actually parents them, they got more STUFF. But this time, STUFF that needs fed, cages cleaned... Oh, did I mention one newt escaped in the youngest princes room and is MIA for over a week now? Yup, my son will have a decaying, rotting newt corpse in his room in a few weeks. Yeah!

Other than that EH just keeps becoming more of an idiot... my middle Prince was sick and at his dad's and stayed home from school. EH told me at 7:30 that morning that he was going to call the dr. and take the Prince in to be checked because the severity of his sore throat. At 9:30, I get a text from EH asking if he can drop the Princes off at my house at 1:30 to Yummy. WTF!?! What happened to the dr.? When I got EH on the phone (he wouldn't answer his phones - my oldest prince had to), he said he wasn't taking the middle Prince to the dr. because he'd given him cough medicine and he wasn't coughing any more. What? This is the kid who has had strep Dec. and Jan. and stayed home the week prior because he didn't feel well! So, not to inconvenience EH, I took the Prince to the dr. to find out that he had strep along with a sinus infection! What an idiot! When I called to tell EH, he didn't answer his phone (of course!) but I got no apology, "that's too bad", NOTHING!!! Well, his nothing is going to be landing his butt right in mediation/court with it being very likely that FULL custody will be granted to me. That would be the only positive thing that comes from this!

And I'm on the hunt for a new teaching job... I have 2 classes that I HAVE to take before August to receive a renewal on my emergency permit to teach middle school and the college doesn't offer one of the classes at a time that I can take it (10 a.m. while I'm teaching just doesn't work) and the other class is not offered at all. When I talked to the licensing advisor, he told too bad and he was not going to support a request for an extension/waiver so I could have another year to take the classes. So, now I'll be out of a job unless I can find these 2 classes at another college and the advisor has to okay them before I'm allowed to register for them because they have to transfer to HIS college. What a jerk!

Well, I hope everyone is having a rockin' weekend... I spent the day with the Princes at an art festival that 2 of the 3 have art pieces displayed! How fantastic! Now, I'm off to finish some laundry, fix dinner and crash...

L is for Love

Well, it's Valentine's Day and I'm sitting here catching up on the blogs that I've neglected to read for some time. Yummy's working and serving food to 800+ people tonight at the restaurant! The life of being almost married to a chef.

Today hasn't been a total loss... our two new fur babies arrived via doggie taxi. We decided to adopt a pair of Boxer sisters. These are the same two that we tried to adopt back before Christmas but they went to a couple that was already approved to adopt. But, this couple could not handle the Boxer in them and returned them to the foster mom. We were next in line... We now have Miley and Maggie joining our family. They are FULL of energy and Miley NEVER lays down for more than a few minutes at a time. We have our hands our full but in a good way. We're fortunate that they were abused by the original owners but they were neglected and drastically underweight. They still need to put on a few more pounds so we'll be working on that with them but it's kinda hard when they run, run, run in the yard each time they go outside. :)

Wedding plans are well underway. The chapel and everything with that is booked. We moved the date to help keep costs down and booked the restaurant we wanted for the dinner afterwards. I just need to find the perfect shoes to go with my dress... anyone have any sites that they would recommend? Invitations are the next on the list to order... maybe I can get to them this week.

Yummy's having surgery on Monday for his Achilles tendon. He'll be off work for 2 weeks and then back but in the corporate office until he is completely released from the dr. Yummy will get a look into what it would be like for him as corporate chef. We're both excited because he'll have normal hours during this time. I'll actually get to have dinner each night with him and go to bed at a normal time. Woot!

Things are still the same on the EH front. He's still an asshole, still telling the princes things that are not true and throwing them for a loop... the only new thing is now he's started to get physical when I try to talk to him about it. He pushed me out of the doorway a few weeks ago. The latest 'tale' that he's telling the princes is that he pays the judge so they don't have to live outside in the cold. WTF? The littlest prince thinks that he's going to end up living outside if his asshole father stops paying the judge! EH actually told me last night that it would happen if he ever decided to not pay his support. Hmm... why the fuck do I have a job? It's not because his support pays all my flippin' bills! I swear there's something wrong with this guy. He's delusional to say the least.

Merry Christmas (Belated) to All!

I know, I know... I'm a day late wishing you all a Merry Christmas. It's the story of my life right now. I thought Christmas vacation was suppose to be a vacation which meant more time for myself. Yeah, right! Who am I kidding?

But, anyhoo... I hope you all had a wonderful and blessed Christmas with your families. I know yesterday was spent here with ripping of wrapping paper galore... I think the middle prince made it in record time this year! *snort* No, really... the princes loved everything that Santa brought even though it was a little sparse under the tree this year. But I'm proud of them... not one wimper about what they didn't get. You go Princes!

Although, when the littlest Prince ran in the first words out of his mouth were "It's sheep puppy time!" He had asked Santa to bring him a white Boxer puppy for Christmas. But me being the smart mom that I am talked with him before hand about how a white sheep puppy might get lost in the snow outside and he wouldn't want that. (Okay, I lied to my kids - Deal with it people.) But he dealt with the little disappointment but I reminded him what we had talked about that it would be better to wait until summer vacation to get a new sheep puppy and he was all fine with that. ~wink, wink~

So, I hope your Christmas brought you all you wanted!

***********

On to another subject... you all may have noticed the lack of HNT's on the site for some time now. At first it was due to not having or finding the time to pull together some quality pics (I hate doing last minute pics.) but now it's because I'm in the middle of preparing for a custody fight with the good ole' Ex and have to make sure that there isn't anything new that can come bite me in the behind when in court. I really don't think he has the address to this new site (he did to the old one as he found it and would stop by every now and then - part of the reason for the switch) but I can't be too careful right now. I'll save the most recent escapades for another post at another time but if you've read any of the past posts about him - you all know he's such a gem of a father! LMAO

But until I know what is happening in this area of my life, I'll be taking a little hiatus from HNT's right now. I hope you all understand.

xoxo

Do I Need to Draw a Picture?

Growl... I just want to say I hate ex-husbands (EH). Just had to get it off my chest. I guess, better than being on my chest. ~wink~ If that was the case, he wouldn't be my ex. LMAO Anyway, I think he's PMSing or something equivalent that a guy does! (Sorry to all my guy readers but I know NONE of you PMS!) Everything has come to a boil and is spiraling out of control.

I've had problems since the beginning of the school year with him making sure the princes have completed their homework. He'll bring them back on Sunday evening with homework not done, big projects not done and that are due on THAT Monday! Each night parents are to sign the assignment planner that the oldest prince has per his teacher's policy but for some reason, EH thinks he's above it and doesn't sign it which means he hasn't looked at it to know what oldest prince needed to have done for the next day. This has resulted in 3 late assignments - I know, that's not much but the pattern is starting. In September, he had my princes for an entire week and the middle prince had a diorama to put together. The assignment sheet came home on a Tuesday and it was due that following Monday. Friday I pick the princes up from after-school care and get a text from EH saying that he has the assignment sheet along with the shoe box for the project and it's due Monday. Well, that just threw a kink in the plans of going to Michigan to the lake cottage for the weekend. Instead, I had to stay here and search for a freakin' raccoon toys small enough to fit in this damn diorama and help the middle prince put it together. And I did it all with a smile on my face because that's what moms do! ~smiling~ When I asked EH about why nothing was done except for gathering the shoe box and printing off some information from the web, he replied because we were busy. Well, gee buddy... we're all busy and ya' need to step up to the plate and multi-task like the rest of us parents.

The busy excuse is his excuse EVERY time homework is not done or a test hasn't been studied for and it's that Monday. Gawd, I know he wants to be the Disney dad and all but it's about ridiculous.

The kicker came a few weeks ago when the princes came back from their usual weekend but this time they were way more violent with each other and all they could do is talk about killing stuff! Yikes! We're talking a 9, 8 and 5 year old here people! Come to find out they had been allowed by their "father" and I use that term loosely, to play 'Dangerous Hunt 2009' and 'Ghost Squad' on their Wii. This 'Dangerous Hunt' game is rather disturbing... it's rated for Teens and it's about a hunter that hunts exotic animals but ends up becoming the hunted. The animals viciously attack the hunter and it's rather graphic for little princes to handle! The 'Ghost Squad' is about a counter-terrorist military group that seeks out terrorists and kills them. Another very graphic game for little ones. So finding this all out, I did what any good parent would do and called EH to inquire. I got told that it's not a big deal, they weren't playing the games but then in the same breath, he said he watched them play it and the littlest prince was right there the whole time! He couldn't get what the problem was with the whole thing. Told me I was being a b*tch and to take him to court. Well, then okay ...

The next day I got a very scathing email from EH telling me I'm no mother of the year (never said I was!) and how he does EVERYTHING in the best interest of the princes. Hmmm... the jury's still out on that one. Sorry, I digress. So, I made a call to the attorney to find out what could be done because he was going to continue to allow the princes to play these games and told me that what is done at his house there is nothing I can do about it. I responded with a nice email back explaining what I expected when he had the princes and if he couldn't do that or allowed them to view these games, then I'd take the next appropriate step. Didn't get a response from this so I thought maybe, just maybe he realized what I was saying.

Boy, could I not have been more wrong! EH had the princes for the weekend and they came back with homework not done for the oldest which when I get them back at 5 p.m. and they go to bed by 7:30 AND I have to feed them in there too with bathes, etc. Doesn't leave much time for homework. But the oldest princes was up until almost 8:30 which meant he was a bear to get up the next morning. I also discovered that the littlest prince's hat and gloves were no where to be found so I called EH to inquire about the missing hat, gloves and homework. He didn't answer (remember - he's pissed at me and is pouting). I left a message but didn't get anything back until 8 a.m. the next morning about the hat & gloves ONLY. Fine... ignore me.

That Monday night, I get notice from the oldest prince's teacher that he had a late assignment the previous week. When I inquired about it, I found out it was from when EH had them (Oh, and I had gotten a note from EH on the previous night about he wasn't signing the assignment planner anymore because the teacher didn't require it. Hmm... that's kind of funny when it's in all her back-to-school information and she made a big deal about it the first month of school!). So, I sent EH an email since he wouldn't answer a call from me or return a text. Still nothing. So, by Wednesday I decided I would leave a nice voicemail stating that he needed to acknowledge my question about homework and talk to me about this. Boy, I wasn't really ready for what I got that afternoon.

I got an email late afternoon from him stating that he didn't have an answer for me. Knew nothing about the late assignment or homework that wasn't completed over the weekend. Informed me that he was going to change the after-school arrangements and would not be allowing them to go on his nights and oh, yeah... take him to court if I wanted to. Well, for one... he can't change anything - I think he's forgotten I'm the custodial parent. Lovely Indiana has this stupid warm fuzzy 'joint legal custody' that they make all parents have together for decision making things such as school, medical, religion, etc. But assign one parent as primary physical custodial parent. We share the legal crap but it really doesn't mean much when one comes right down to it. If anything had to be fought over (hopefully, it doesn't), the court usually favors the custodial parent - not always but most likely.

Anyway, I spent 2 hours with the attorney on Thursday going over EH's emails to me and my replies. The attorney said that after reading EH's emails, it appears EH doesn't want to have the princes during the week. But unfortunately for me, I needed to wait to file a motion in court. I needed to let EH hang himself a little longer. It's not that we don't have a solid case but my attorney said the court sees things that are much worse in nature than this and depending on the day, we might not get the ruling we'd be expecting. Although it would be very unlikely for us to lose if/when we went into to court. So, now it's sit and wait...

Things have not gotten any better... I called to talk to my middle prince over the weekend and EH would not call me back after I left a message requesting the prince to call me. I got a text 6 hours later stating the prince didn't want to talk to me. Oh, and I got told that EH would not reimburse me the after-school expense that I had to pay regardless of the princes' attendance from the nights he was not going to allow them to go. But he was going to check with the YMCA about the changing the days and fee structure. This morning I spent time at the YMCA and on the phone with them trying to get the director to understand I am custodial parent, I signed the contract, etc. I mean my f*cking god... they have a copy of the divorce decree and part of the marriage settlement that states I have primary physical custody of the princes. She wanted the whole f*cking entire settlement that gives specifics on support, division of assets, etc. Can I say go to hell? Don't think so! Then she wanted me to get a letter from my attorney and me to pay $250 freakin' dollars to have him draft a letter that would say the same flippin' thing as the papers she already has!! Dumb, just dumb... And, this girl also informed me that EH had called her to inquire about the changes but she told me that the director of the YMCA informed her that since I pay for it, signed the contract and am primary custodial parent, EH can't make any changes! Score one for the parent of the year (ok, at least in my world... *lol*)

Now, tomorrow I get to deal with the school and all the sh*t he's doing there. Meeting with the principal - who just happens to be a friend. So, shouldn't be too bad. Still having this meeting even though I actually spoke to EH tonight and point blank asked him what was up. He of course turned it onto me - typical! Once again, he couldn't see what I was talking about, said he wasn't changing the after-school arrangements (yeah, no sh*t mother-f*cker) and told me that I was doing things that wasn't in the best interest of the princes. Hmm... ahem*yeah*mr.Iletthekidsplay videogamesthatgivethemfreakin'nightmares*ahem. I nicely explained to him how he is in violation (directly) of the decree when he doesn't return my calls when I ask to speak to one of my kids and when he tries to change an arrangement that I made for after-school care. EH still didn't quite understand how all of these plus him not making sure the princes have their homework completed and turned in on time when they are with him could get him his weekday visitation revoked. Explained to him it wasn't anything personal (ok, maybe just a little) but I was just doing what I had to do to protect my princes.

I think, he got it for now but it'll go back to the same old sh*t in a few months and then I'll be in court before school's out getting full custody of the princes and he'll be going to the one evening a week and every other weekend sh*t but that's what his emails/actions, etc. are saying he wants. So if I have to, I'll be more than happy to give it to him and be the bad guy by taking his kids away from him as he so puts it. It's all about him - always has been and always will be unfortunately for the princes. EH will never grow up!

So, ahem... yeah... I've been just a little busy lately!